Precious Time

     After taking a 6-month hiatus from writing, I've decided to take a few moments tonight to give credit where credit is due for all that has been happening in our lives.  We are so overwhelmed with God's goodness to us.  As we look back over the last year and the depths of betrayal, pain, and loss that we faced, we are continually thankful for the abundant ways that God has provided for us in every way-- through the deep love of family and friends, financially, and even through bringing us back to the mountains of Hendersonville to a wonderful church whom we already love. I literally drive down the roads here praising Him for the ability to live in such a beautiful place again.
     As I write this, my eyes are literally filled with tears of gratitude to my God.  I haven't had the heart to write for some time now; not because I have not wanted to, but simply because words cannot do justice to the experiences of daily life and the riches that have been poured out upon us.  Not a day passes that I don't think of Ryan and wish for one more conversation, one more hug.  Yet, as I think of him now, my heart is lighter and I am grateful to know that he is whole. Grief is a lasting burden, but I'm beginning to learn how to lay it down. I realize how precious life is and how fleeting it is.  I have learned that many things in life can wait, but pouring out my love into those around me cannot.  My husband, my boys, my parents, my brother and sister-in law, all of my family and Jason's family-- these are people with whom God has blessed me.  I have the unique opportunity to love each of them in a way that only I can.  My call as His child is to love, love, and love some more.  Even when the toys are scattered everywhere and the laundry is piling up.  Even when I am tired and don't feel like playing cars again or cooking a meal or letting the "tickle spider" crawl up Cale's back for the millionth time. These moments are precious. I do not know that I will have the opportunity tomorrow to do what God has given me the opportunity to do now.  So, I strive to be intentional: my attitude, my words, my actions-- they all matter. I want to be a woman of grace: a woman who lives in the constant awareness of God's goodness to me. I am so undeserving.
     Jason has written a blog over the last year with some of the finer details of ways that God has answered prayers in major ways-- how through utter devestation He has brought goodness and light into our lives.  When he publishes it, I'll post a link to it as well. I hope that you'll read it-- regardless of your belief or lack thereof in God. It's our story; a raw look at our personal history and the triumph of the Lord.